Reviews (19)

Why spend the money on an MBA or a business degree, when you can get this book
I got a top tier MBA, spent tens of thousands of dollars and two years, but didn't learn the important stuff.(And I was the valedictorian, and got some really great jobs).I really enjoyed Greene's book 42 laws of power (I can't remember if it's 42 or some other number), but this book is a great reminder and educator of the way things work behind the scenes, in people's minds, and at the macro level of every business and political dealing.I'm convinced that there is either a conspiracy in our educational system to make us dumb workerbees, 99% of our teachers just don't get it, or our measurement system for the quality and effectiveness of our eductional system is severely broken.(Or all the above!)
Life Strategies seen through Warfare
Most people see war as a seperate activity unrelated to other realms of human life. But in fact war is a form of power - Carl von Clausewitz called it "politics by other means" - and all forms of power share the same essential structures.

Robert Greene's art of War for the general population!
Having been a previous owner of "48 Laws of Power" and the "Art of Seduction" I was awaiting this foray into the art of warfare... and I have not been disappointed! After receiving this book as a birthday gift, I have not put it down in the last 10 days; managing it a piece at a time, and adding some highlighting to key phrases...
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Subjects:  1. Business/Economics    2. Conduct of life    3. Personal Growth - General    4. Personal Guidance    5. Self-Help    6. Social Psychology    7. Sociology    8. Violence in Society    9. Psychology    10. Psychology & Psychiatry / Social Psychology   

Editorial Review

Are you now, or have you ever been, in relationships with family, friends, or mates who have been verbally abusive? Is your happiness with someone you love continually threatened byinteractionsthat continually undermine your self-esteem? Do you feel trapped in a relationship that keeps decaying in a downward spiral of overt or passive-aggressive abuse?Read more

Reviews (186)

Still don't completely understand my husband.
Although the book was helpful...it's been a few years now since I've read it, I still don't understand why my husband has to repeat himself all the time.Especially if someone wants to converse with him.If he feels he hasn't finished his sentance and someone tries to participate he will completely and a little louder start all over again.

Saved My Life
This book really trully opened my eyes. Most books are so full of pop pychology we do not understand how it practically applies to us. Patricia Evans creates a roadmap and helps you see what you may feel but not recognize. My jaw dropped eith each page and I read it twice. Once I went back and the abuse continued so I read it again and realized I had to leave. This is the number one book I would reccomend to any woman who feels her relationship is not right....

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond
Very helpful book. I wish I read it five years ago. A rare book that can definitely change someone's life. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Family Violence    2. Human relations    3. Interpersonal Relations    4. Interpersonal communication    5. Interpersonal conflict    6. Psychology    7. Verbal self-defense    8. Social, group or collective psychology    9. Violence in society   

Editorial Review

Each hour, 75 women are raped in the United States, and every few seconds, a woman is beaten. Each day, 400 Americans suffer shooting injuries, and another 1,100 face criminals armed with guns. Author Gavin de Becker says victims of violent behavior usually feel a sense of fear before any threat or violence takes place. They may distrust the fear, or it may impel them to some action that saves their lives. A leading expert on predicting violent behavior, de Becker believes we can all learn to recognize these signals of the "universal code of violence," and use them as tools to help us survive. The book teaches how to identify the warning signals of a potential attacker and recommends strategies for dealing with the problem before it becomes life threatening. The case studies are gripping and suspenseful, and include tactics for dealing with similar situations.Read more

Reviews (220)

The Gift of "The Gift of Fear"
The book is not an easy one to read. The subject is real, the examples are deeply difficult, but the truth in it will, as they say, set you free. You'll find yourself growing stronger and stronger with each chapter. On the very last page, at the very last period, you'll close the book and realize that you are a completely different person than the one who began it.
Interesting book on understudied topic
De Becker's book is an interesting introduction to a topic that we rarely give critical thought to, namely our survival instincts, fear, and ways of coping with dangerous situations that most Americans are likely to face.The dangers that De Becker talks about are more likely to affect women and celebrities (i.e. stalking, rape), but he also talks about robberies, teen suicides/murders, intra-family crimes of violence, etc.He repeatedly talks about how predictable crimes are based on people's past behavior, as well as the simple measures we can use to determine whether or not strangers likely mean us harm or have intentions other than those stated by them.My main critique of the book is that it sometimes came off like a big advertisement for his firm, which specializes in security services and consulting rather than as a guide for everyone.Nevertheless I recommend the book, especially for younger and middle aged women.

Great information for everyone
This is a book that I frequently talk about with my family and friends. I think most people can relate to the situations and Gavin De Becker teaches you how to interpret your fears and react. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. General    2. Personal & Practical Guides    3. Personal Growth - General    4. Psychology    5. Safety    6. Self-Help    7. Violence in Society    8. Cognition & cognitive psychology    9. Self-Help / General    10. Stalking    11. Crime    12. Domestic Violence    13. Violent crimes    14. Fear   

Reviews (2)

Use This Instead of the 7th Edition!!
If you are taking a class that calls for the 7th Edition, you can use the 6th edition of this book.Not much changed except that a few chapters were switched around.I used the 6th Edition in a class that used the 7th Edition and got an A.: )I'm sure everyone can think of a lot better ways to spend $90+!
Foundational book for conflict resolution
Easy reading, with good examples of the various types and styles of conflict management, metaphors and escalation.Upon hearing the fate of Phil Hartman, I immediately thought of this book, and how its examples may have definately helped, as it has helped me to clarify issues in my marriage.However, the book failed to incorporate enough visual demonstrations of its "hands-on" ideas such as flowcharts or other types of process charts, thus probably causing the "visual-learner" type of audience to not be able to keep track of the "how-to" process.The book was used for a Public Conflict Resolution Ph.D course, however I would recommend it for any type of college course relating to conflict management. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Conflict (Psychology)    2. General    3. Interpersonal conflict    4. Social Psychology    5. Social Science    6. Sociology    7. Violence in Society    8. Conflict resolution    9. Language Arts & Disciplines / Speech   

Reviews (165)

Self-serving and poorly written...
I bought this book hoping to gain some insight into the mind of a violent criminal street gang member. What I found was page after page of Mr. Scott rationalizing his behavior, and in fact glamourizing the life of street gang members. After reading this book, I am convinced that Mr. Scott has no remorse for his behavior, nor does he accept any responsibility for his actions. On top of the author's self-serving writing, the book is difficult to read because of the grammatical errors that are the books only consistent trait. This one is a must miss.

Engrossing book
This book chronicles Monster Kody Scott's life as a 8 Tray Crip in LA. The first part of the books is his life in the gang; the middle of the books is his time spent in prison, and towards the end is when he becomes more of a black revolutionary and stops banging. Honestly, I thought the most interesting part was the first part when he told of his life in the gang. But for those who like inspiring stories, they will really like the ending. Awesome and well written, very intriguing.

Sanyika Tells His Story
Monster is an auto-biography of the the ex-Eight Tray Crip member "Monster" Kody Scott, or as he's known now, Sanyika Shakur. This book sheds light on the harsh realities taking place in inner-city America, telling a story that few would most likely not live to tell. Sanyika holds nothing back whilst telling his story. He lived with a single mom, and he had five other brothers. There was no man in the house. At the tender age of eleven, he was initiated into the Crips (Eight Tray Crip), after he belted rival gang members with eight shots from a sawed-off shotgun. After he was initiated, Sanyika earned respect for himself by commiting terrible acts of violence and always being on his guard. This earned him the name of "Monster".
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Subjects:  1. Biography    2. Biography & Autobiography    3. Biography / Autobiography    4. Biography/Autobiography    5. California    6. Crips (Gang)    7. Gang members    8. Los Angeles    9. Personal Memoirs    10. Violence in Society   

Reviews (11)

Listening and generative dialogue
Adam Kahane (2004) said that a friend of his told him that the old "1960s slogan `If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem' actually misses the most important about effecting change.The slogan should be, he said, `If you're not part of the problem, you can't be part of the solution.'If we cannot see how what we are doing or not doing is contributing to things being the way that they are, then logically we have no basis at all, zero leverage, for changing the ways things are--except from the outside, by persuasion or force" (pp. 83-84).
Enables deeper connections across communities
Mr. Kahane's book is the tip of the iceberg - a great start for someone looking for reflective practice that provides the skills and methods for addressing difficult challenges - individually and organizationally.The perspectives in Solving Tough Problems are from the heart, and present a valuable contribution to the growing awareness of how social technologies can provide containers for creating new realities...definitely recommended!

Jerry's review on Solving Tough Problems
At last! An easy to read book true to Bohm's vision of dialogue that will begin moving the subject from an esoteric phenomenon to a practice attainable by many.This book should not be considered as a primer on dialogue that could replace works such as "On Dialogue" or "dialogue, the art and practice of thinking together", rather it presents the author's experience in practical application of many of the concepts and principles discussed in those earlier works. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Business & Economics    2. Business/Economics    3. Communication    4. Communication In Business    5. Conflict management    6. Decision Making & Problem Solving    7. Management    8. Problem solving    9. Sociology    10. Violence in Society    11. Business & Economics / Decision-Making & Problem Solving    12. Business & Management    13. Decision-Making & Problem Solving   

Features

• Illustrated

Reviews (2)

Good data but needs more specific examples
I was elected to my local board of education and we recently received a credible complaint from a parent that harassment of her son was being overlooked by school administrators. Accordingly, I felt obliged to read up on the issue of bullying. This book sets forth both the problem and the recommended solutions. Prof. Olweus is Norwegian and his studies primarily involve Scandinavian schools. Accordingly, questions came to my mind such as "Is Norway a more homogenious society than the United States? If so, are there any differences in both the problem and the solutions in a more ethnically heterogeneous society?" I don't know the answers but, the reader should keep these issues in mind when reading this book. This book is the foundation of modern bullying prevention!
This clear, brief, and practical book is based on extensive research and outlines an intervention to prevent bullying. Dr. Olweus's work has become the standard approach to bullying prevention, reflected in such programs asthe University of Colorado "Blueprints for Violence Prevention"project ... As acounselor and trainer specializing in bullying prevention, I find this bookindispensable, and recommend it highly. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Administration - General    2. Aggressiveness in children    3. Behavior Management    4. Behavioral assessment of child    5. Behavioral assessment of children    6. Bullying    7. Bullying in schools    8. Education / Teaching    9. Psychology    10. Psychotherapy - Counseling    11. AGGRESSIVENESS    12. CHILD PSYCHOLOGY    13. CHILDREN AND VIOLENCE    14. Organization & management of education    15. Psychology & Psychiatry / Child Development    16. SCHOOL VIOLENCE    17. Schools    18. Violence in society   

Reviews (10)

For Every Rational Being
This is a work that is at once literate, insightful, and witty. Dr. Sen discusses how the narrowness of self-definition has and does lead to violence among groups who, if they but thought more critically about it, have far more that binds them in common concern than that divides them into antagonistic camps. He also discusses how over generalizing can also dismiss the legitimate concerns especially of minorities. He does this in language that is a pleasure to read and with a mind that is at once incisive and also compassionate. The humor comes from recognition of how easily humans are led away from finding common ground by those who benefit most from keeping peoples divided.
how to spread this message?
Creating awareness and spreading the message conveyed through this book, would bring us a world devoid of most of the problems we face today.

A rational and a voice with clarity.
We see a lot of violence on a daily basis (all we need to do is tune in to the news.) Most of this violence is by extremist groups; groups especially associated with religions, followed closely by ethnicity. There is a lot of reconciling that needs to be done between the "official" projection of these religions by our respective (and respectful) governments as 'peaceful' and the apparent violence with which these terrorist acts are inflicted on the general public by these "religious" groups.
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Subjects:  1. Essays    2. General    3. Group identity    4. History & Theory - General    5. Identity (Philosophical concept)    6. Political Science    7. Politics / Current Events    8. Politics/International Relations    9. Violence    10. Current Events / General    11. Violence in society   

Reviews (2)

Detailed and theoretical
As a beginning mediator, I found this book very detailed and theoretical. I am sure that I will return to it again and again as I gain experience. I found "Basic Skills for the New Mediator (2d edition)" by Allan H. Goodman to provide a quicker and more practical overview. When used together, I believe both booksare a good basis for the practicing mediator.

Great.
This book was great and exactly how it was described in the review. I received it at a fast pace.
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Subjects:  1. Alternative Dispute Resolution    2. Conflict management    3. Law    4. Legal Reference / Law Profession    5. Mediation    6. Violence in Society    7. Business & Management    8. Conflict resolution    9. Law / Alternative Dispute Resolution   

Reviews (7)

A challenging theory of sacrifice
In this book, Rene Girard tries to propound a new theory of sacrifice, religion, myth, tragedy, incest, and taboo. His basic thesis is that sacrificing a scapegoat was the way primitive societies overcame the natural lawless violence (mimetic desire) of their societies by re-directing it on a sacrifical victim.
Girard is wrong about sacrifice
When I first read Girard's book, I was impressed with his analysis of violence in relation to religion.I admit that his concept of mimesis is fascinating, although it is not particularly original anymore.I even referred to his theory in my own general book on violence and culture (titled, aptly enough, "Violence and Culture" (Wadsworth, 2005).
The Foundational Text on Religion and Violence - General Overview
By focusing primarily on Greek tragedy, "primitive" religions, and psychoanalysis, Rene Girard attempts to show the inextricable link between violence and the sacred. Mimetic desire, the scapegoat mechanism, and sacrifice produce a system in which unrestrained violence can be controlled.Through the sacralization of these elements, religion becomes a way for the community to maintain internal peace and harmony and prevent the recurrence of reciprocal violence.
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Subjects:  1. Customs & Traditions    2. General    3. Sociology    4. Business & Economics / Labor    5. Religion: general    6. Violence in society   

Reviews (1)

Fascinating, challenging, informative
If you are looking for quick fixes and simplistic solutions to conflict this book is not for you. The highly analytical approach illuminates the complexities of conflict management. Folger et al do an excellent job exploring the theoretical and psychological background necessary to evaluate the implicit and explicit causes and conditions involved in and effectively pursue solutions to disputes at mutiple levels. You wont find this book on the NY Times bestsellers list because it is a textbook. Graduate student and practiotioners can expect to draw upon it as an invaluable resource. Unlike most of those popular books this book doesn't just 'get you to yes', it actually has more weight and substance than most everything else out there. If you want a popular book on the topic of conflict that most non-professionals will find approachable read "Difficult Conversations." You will find it enjoyable and highly accessible. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Conflict (Psychology)    2. Conflict management    3. Education    4. Guidance & Orientation    5. Interpersonal Relations    6. Interpersonal conflict    7. Social conflict    8. Social interaction    9. Sociology    10. Sociology - General    11. Violence in Society    12. Conflict resolution    13. Education / Guidance & Orientation    14. Popular psychology   

Reviews (2)

No Ambiguity
Any attempt to provide a political explanation of the Darfur crisis is bound to use the terms "complex", "ambiguous", "deeply rooted" and "obscure", if only to stigmatize over-simplifications and journalistic coverage. Not so with Gerard Prunier's book. In less than 200 pages, he succeeds in providing a thorough account of the crisis' origins, its unfolding, and the world's reaction to it, in a way that will be both appealing to the informed layperson and to the scholar specialized in African politics. His story is the Darfur crisis made simple, not by way of simplification but through rational understanding, in the way that Hannah Arendt had in mind when she evoked the "banality of evil" in the context of the Holocaust, or following Primo Levi's invitation to understand the morally incomprehensible.
Puts the conflict in it's political and historical context
Prunier wrote "The Rwanda Crisis", which I think is the best analysis of the genocide in Rwanda.When I heard that he had a book on Darfur coming out, I was very eager to read it.I ordered a copy from London because it was published by Hurst & Co. two months before being released in the USA.
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Subjects:  1. Africa - North    2. Darfur    3. Darfur (Sudan)    4. Genocide    5. History    6. History - General History    7. History: World    8. Political Freedom & Security - International Secur    9. Sudan    10. Violence in Society   

Reviews (3)

THIS BOOK MUST BE TAUGHT IN OUR WAR TORN SCHOOLS
as one means of ending the lethal violence there, most unreported.
Stimulates your thinking on war and peace
While I don't share some of Mr. Kurlansky's political thinking, his book is well worth reading because it stimulates one's thinking on the big issues of war and peace. He gives some important recent examples (e.g., America in the 1960s, Eastern Europe in the 1980s, etc.) where nonviolence worked or might have worked (e.g., in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict).I am extremely skeptical of his apparent claim that nonviolence by itself could have ended slavery in the US or defeated Hitler. However, the important point Mr. Kurlansky makes is that nonviolence can work and that more people should be inspired by it and use it to resolve seemingly intractable disputes. The track record of war as a means of settling many disputes certainly is not great.

Walk Softly & Hope Nobody Notices You Are Defenseless
In the tradition of Dave Dellinger, Noam Chomsky and Howard Zinn, Mark Kurlansky reconstitutes history to fit his ideological beliefs. The ineluctable fatal flaw in the familiar drum beat of these revisionists is that recorded historical events are out of sync with their tin ears.
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Subjects:  1. History & Theory - General    2. History - General History    3. Modern - 20th Century    4. Nonviolence    5. Political Advocacy    6. Social Psychology    7. Social Science    8. Sociology    9. Violence (Sociological Aspects)    10. Violence in Society    11. History / Modern / 20th Century   

Reviews (4)

A Social Constructionist Mediation Book
John Winslade and Gerald Monk are two social constructionists out of New Zealand who, according to their own jacket flap, are "leading figures" in the narrative therapy movement.Their's is an interesting book with an interesting thesis: instead of seeing mediation as a problem-solving process where competing interests are resolved, they see it as a process where competing "stories" (or narratives) of the conflict are "deconstructed" and an alternate story is reconstructed.That alternate story is fashioned in large part outof a recognition of the culturally-influenced power relationships between the dispuiting parties, and with awareness of the cultural biases of the mediator as well.This theory specifically acknowledges one of the real weaknesses with conventional mediation, which is that mediators often struggle to maintain the detached neutrality that is expected of them.The narrative approach also seeks to recalibtate the relationship between the disputants instead of simply solving a particular problem.
An Interesting Approach
This book is a good read for anyone interested in the theory of mediation and why it works. I find the premise of this book to be somewhat over-complicated. Narrative mediation starts from the idea that everyone has their own "story", which positions people in different places which inevitably produce different agendas and therefore conflicts. The authors differentiate this from the traditional view that what gets people into conflicts is that they want something which is an expression of the inner needs or interest. As an experienced mediator, I find the authors' proposed methods of allowing the parties to tell their own storiesnot necessarily in conflict with the traditional view, as it seems to be an outgrowth of the need to allow the parties to "vent" their point of view,while at the same time encouraging them to listen to each other. However, while I agree that the parties "stories" do place them in different places, I do not agree that the fact that they have different stories necessarily leads to conflict. One cannot discount the existence ofan underlying reason for the conflict, apart from the parties' "stories."This is where I part company with the authors.Even so, the book is very helpful for an understanding of the mediation process. For a good "nuts and bolts" book,I also recommend Basic Skills for the New Mediator by Allan H. Goodman, even if you are an experienced mediator.

Settlement Through Alternative Stories
In one of the finest general mediation books I have ever read, Winslade and Monk present a new perspective on the mediation of disputes.In a departure from the more structured models of mediation presented in the past, these authors introduce a revolutionary approach to the manner in which mediation is approached.Read more

Subjects:  1. Conflict management    2. Discourse analysis, Narrative    3. Mediation    4. Psychology    5. Psychopathology - Compulsive Behavior    6. Social Conflict    7. Social Interaction    8. Social Science    9. Sociology    10. Sociology - General    11. Storytelling    12. Violence in Society    13. Psychology & Psychiatry / General    14. Psychotherapy   

Editorial Review

In the aftermath of the Columbine High School tragedy, a story came out about Cassie Bernall, a young woman who allegedly professed her belief in God in the moments before she was shot dead. Hailed a modern-day martyr by Christian groups and the media, detectives revealed months later that she may never have had such an exchange with her killer. Bernall's parents responded to the news with a statement:Read more

Reviews (410)

She Said Yes
The novel She Said Yes by Misty Bernall was very touching and was one to always keep my attention.I was given the book as a gift from my parents after the Columbine High School shooting in 1999.The first day I started to read the novel it took everything of me to put it down.I beleive that Cassie's testimony was an ecouragement to every young teenager, christian or non-christian.Since her mother wrote the story, the little details like how Cassie's mind set changed from being suicidal, to giving her life over to Christ really stuck out in the novel.I was in middle school when I read the book and still have read it numerous times.Everyone, young or old, should take time out to read the novel of Cassie's strong faith and let it make an impact on your life.

She Said "yes"
Cassie Bernallhas a devil of a backround. She was a bully, and she would do some horible pranks. Now Cassie Bernall brought it all together and became a "Gods Girl". Cassie Bernall is a regular teen and (like every morning) woke up and went to school not knowing that she was going to be shot. When she got to school people were freaking out but cassie and her friends had no idea what was happening. So they went and asked some people and before the people could awnser they heard a gun shot being fired so now cassie and her friends were freaking out and cassie has a brother who ran to a friends house and was safe but cassie on the other hand was not safe and ran into a classroom and got under a table amd started to pray. Cassie couldn't belive her eyes her killers were right in front of her. The killers had one simple question they said " do you belive in god" and she said "yes" so then the killers pulled the trigger and shot cassie in the head now her parents and her brother went back to the school to look for her and found out that all of the bodies were deadand no one eles was alive.

Critics missing the point
To me, the book is not so much about Cassie's final moments as it is her story of personal transformation. Her saying yes may or may not be correct, but it was not a lie. It was later they were informed it may not have happened. Her parents did not write the book to deceive the readers.
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Subjects:  1. Biography    2. Biography & Autobiography    3. Biography / Autobiography    4. Biography/Autobiography    5. Case studies    6. Colorado    7. Crimes against    8. Faith    9. General    10. High school students    11. Littleton    12. Parental Memoirs    13. Religious    14. School violence    15. Students    16. Biography & Autobiography / Religious    17. Biography: general    18. Violence in society   

Reviews (16)

Sontag adds here name to the after postmodernism movement
Sontag questions her ideas that have influenced half a centary. She is not alone Terry Eagleton (After Theory), Elain Showalter, Sandra Gilbert, and even Derrida (life.after theory) have done the same

Visual means are not enough to understand visual realities
As another reviewer of this book on Amazon has pointed out the title of this book is somewhat misleading. This is not a general consideration of the subject of how we regard the pain of others. And it is too not even a comprehensive treatment of how we regard the pain of strangers when that is represented to us through the media. It is rather a kind of historical consideration of the subject of representation of war through visual images, and how that has effected its intendedaudience.
A Fine Career Bookend